


Before Your Time

by gayv



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst and Tragedy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 19:41:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20452514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayv/pseuds/gayv
Summary: As long as it’s for Yunho, everything is worth it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> just a little medieval au i threw together + an epilogue. nerd notes will come after the story.

When Changmin is seven years old, he and his father board a ship in Southsun Cove bound for Saltshear in the far north. There are many things he doesn’t understand at the time – like why his mother and older sisters cry like it’s the last time they’ll ever see him, or what exactly ‘cold’ is (he’s never been cold in his life, having been born in the hot and arid southern territory of Coalfell). He’s told he’ll be paged in the north, that his father performed some heroic feat for the king of Starsummit and that’s why he’s returned from the war: in thanks he’d been granted the request of having his son trained by one of the king’s men.

“If he shows promise,” Yanghyun told him, “then perhaps after learning from my own guard he shall be put in a place similar for my son,” and Dongsik had eagerly agreed.

Changmin has no interest in knights or battles. He likes to stay close to home and within eyesight of his mother just in case she needs him – his father is always away at war, after all, so he’s the only man in the house. He likes playing outside and often imagines himself a prince or a king in his games. His father knows this, and so he uses it as encouragement against the forlorn attitude that grows within his son the longer they are at sea.

“If you do well at this,” he tells Changmin, kneeling before his son and pulling him close, “if you ride well and fight well for your lord, then you will meet the king of Starsummit. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” and when Changmin nods in affirmation, the pout still not leaving his face, Dongsik presses a bit harder. “Do well for the king and you may be a knight for the prince. That would make me so proud, Changmin.”

Later that evening, when his father is mingling with other passengers on the ship and Changmin is left to his own devices, he hides away in their cabin and cries. By the time Dongsik returns, however, all traces of his tears are banished.

* * *

Yunho is thirteen years old when he meets Changmin for the first time. The younger boy’s instructor has taken ill and so, in an unexpected twist, he finds himself at the training grounds wrapped in full padding and with baton in hand alongside the page for the very first time. Changmin is sullen and quiet, but every time their mock swords connect there’s a flash in the shorter boy’s eyes that Yunho can only read as fear; he glimpses at the prince for a moment, then diverts his gaze to the older’s handlers for indication that he’s pushed too far. After four binds, Yunho decides he’s had enough.

“They aren’t going to do anything,” he says quietly the next time they bind, and this time, Changmin doesn’t look away from the prince’s eyes. Yunho sees the change almost immediately: gone are the doe-like wary eyes he’d seen up to this point, and instead, the younger narrows his lids and the nervousness is replaced by determination. The older practically lights up at the transformation (this is the first time anyone’s ever dared to look at him like that before), and Changmin immediately notices how brilliant, blinding, _perfect_ Yunho’s smile is. It’s _distracting_.

“Don’t go easy on me, you won’t hurt me,” the older insists – and that’s when Changmin’s grip slips, his baton dragging harshly down Yunho’s left cheek before he can correct himself. The blood that immediately drips down the prince’s cheek makes the color drain from Changmin’s face, and in blind panic, he drops his baton and hits his knees to bow so deeply his forehead touches the ground.

“I’m so sorry!” he apologizes hastily, and for the first time since his arrival in Solitude Vale four years ago, the chill has completely left his bones, replaced by something else entirely, and the fear he’d initially experienced while training with Yunho comes back in white-hot waves that make him feel sick to his stomach. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to –"

But he’s being yanked to his feet by Yunho’s handlers, and despite the older boy’s protests and insistences that it was his own fault, Changmin is promptly stripped of his padding and dragged away from the training grounds, all the way back to his shared quarters.

He gets no dinner that night, nor does he get any for three nights after.

* * *

By the time Changmin is fourteen, he and Yunho have progressed to regular sparring partners. Neither are at the castle often anymore – Changmin is a squire now and so he accompanies his attended Kingsguard, Kangta, onto the field. Yunho, too, is now taken to battle; he’s sixteen and a bit further in his training than Changmin is, and they’re both much busier now than they were when they’d first met, but that doesn’t stop them from meeting when they can.

_Maybe too much_, Changmin sometimes thinks, especially when they both seem to forget their stations for a moment. Changmin is bad with a bow and Yunho points it out whenever the opportunity arises, just like Changmin often throws sharp, scathing comments in the prince’s -- the _prince’s_ – direction when the other hits him in the head just a little too hard. And Yunho can’t swim – Changmin’s dragged him out of the water at least twice now, and he’s called the older an idiot for the attempt both times.

In moments, when they both forget, it’s almost as if they’re friends – not Jung Yunho, Prince of Starsummit and Shim Changmin, squire from some lesser noble house in Firebend. He isn’t even from the capital. Yunho shouldn’t treat him so familiarly, but he’s never seemed to mind at all.

“Do you enjoy it?” Yunho asks him one evening after a particularly nasty foray, sitting away from the roaring campfires of men celebrating victory as he diligently cleans his own sword. Changmin watches him, taking note of the dried blood sitting in the fuller of the blade and something within him feels… not at all right. He thinks of Yunho’s gentle constitution and how there are moments where the older’s smile isn’t quite as bright as it once was. He wonders if anyone else has noticed, or if they would care if they did. They should.

“It’s…” Changmin begins, but his words falter; in the end he shrugs, sitting down heavily slightly behind the other. His fingers go to the laces of Yunho’s thick leather armor out of habit, stripping away the remnants and symbolically purging today’s memories for the prince as he tries to put together his thoughts. “I don’t dislike it,” he finally says, “but I don’t like it, either. It simply… is, for me.”

Yunho’s hands still as Changmin speaks and moves about him, silent for a long while after as he mulls over the younger boy’s words. For a moment, Changmin wonders if he’s answered incorrectly, but then:

“I hate it,” Yunho whispers, though he doesn’t look back up to the younger. His hands begin to move again, turning the blade on his lap. “I know why it came to be and why it continues, and I don’t understand the need for it or why my father refuses to listen to reason. It isn’t right, Chami.”

Changmin knows Yunho isn’t wrong. They both know why the wars continue: because Starsummit is stolen territory, and they’ve fought the ones with the rightful claim for untold years now. The wars don’t end, and the older the two boys get the clearer it becomes that Yunho’s father isn’t exactly the just king they’d thought him to be in their youth. But they both know they have their roles to play; this is what birth gave them, after all.

“Then do not fight,” Changmin says, quiet and yet filled with a newfound resolve of meaning and purpose. “I will do it for you.”

* * *

Changmin’s mother dies when he is fifteen years old. Dongsik sends word to him via raven requesting him to return to Firebend for a time (“Come home,” the letter says, and Changmin feels strange about the wording, because the Vale has been his home longer than Firebend ever was). Despite his apprehensions he complies, attaining permission before readying himself to visit people he has not seen for more than half his life and to say goodbye to a mother he’d only vaguely remembered he had to begin with.

“I’m very sorry for your loss,” Yunho tells him in the quiet of Changmin’s quarters, sitting on the younger’s bed as he packs what belongings he thinks he may need. He no longer has appropriate clothing for the heat of the south, so he at least chooses the thinner garments he wears when summer, such as it is, comes to Starsummit.

“It isn’t your fault,” Changmin reasons, because that’s what he does. “You have nothing to apologize for,” but he knows the intention behind Yunho’s words. The older is better with words and feelings, but Changmin is better with blades and his care comes out in the way he protects. A month ago, he ran a dagger upward into the throat of someone who’d thought to catch his prince unaware. It’s nothing to him, but he remembers the way Yunho had looked at him afterward and how it hadn’t been fearful, or judgmental, or negative in any way at all – it was thankful, and appreciative, and maybe something a little more to which the younger can’t quite put a name.

Yunho nods slightly in agreement, and the silence settles around them for a bit. He watches Changmin as the younger finishes one task and moves to the next, and the more his gaze lingers, the more Changmin begins to understand – and the guiltier he feels for brushing away the other’s attempt at comforting him.

“… Do you think of her often?” Changmin finally asks, because he knows, or at least assumes he does, why Yunho has come to him now: they’re the same. Almost, anyway.

“Yes,” Yunho answers easily, referencing the loss of his own mother when he was seven years old – it’s the same age Changmin was when he was sent north. “Every day I miss her.” A smile crosses his lips, but the act seems sad somehow, and Changmin can’t hide his surprise at the older boy’s words. For the younger his mother had become a distant memory, but Yunho loves harder, feels deeper.

Maybe it isn’t so surprising.

“I’m sorrier for you,” Changmin ventures then, looking for a reaction as he sits on the bed next to his prince. “I remember little about my mother. I don’t know her voice or her face. I’m going only because my father asks it of me.”

“It’s alright,” Yunho insists, and the smile he gives is no longer sad. Changmin’s eyes are drawn to the scar on the older’s left cheek; it isn’t horrible, but it’s noticeable, and the guilt has never subsided. “You’ll come back soon, won’t you?”

“I live here.”

“Well, yes, but – oh! I nearly forgot.” Yunho shuffles around, digging through pockets until he seems to have found what he’s looking for. Changmin raises an eyebrow when Yunho extends his clenched fist in his direction, taking the younger by the wrist to place something in his hand. “Bring this with you,” he says, and when Changmin opens his hand he finds a very familiar silver six-pointed star brooch lined with diamonds – a sigil of Yunho’s house. It’s an item that would be noticeably far above his station, and he shakes his head while pushing the jewelry back into Yunho’s palm.

“This is yours,” he insists, shaking his head. “I can’t take that.”

“You’ll bring it back,” Yunho counters, forcing the brooch back into Changmin’s hand. “Take it with you, Chami. I’ll never get to see those lands, but at least this would be able to.”

Changmin’s eye is caught by the contrast between their skin tones as they pass the star back and forth; his is deep and golden against Yunho’s pale white, the proof of their separate points of origin, and he knows he’s already lost this battle. Yunho is right, after all; maybe he’ll never cross the Verdant Ways and venture into the hot and broken scape of Changmin’s homeland of Coalfell. To deny Yunho this small request would be cruel and so, in the end, he concedes despite an unexplainable worry over what would happen if he were caught wearing it.

“Besides,” Yunho speaks seriously again once Changmin has accepted his charge, “if you see a dragon while you’re there and have nothing of mine to see it with you, I’ll be jealous forever.”

Changmin sighs heavily in irritation, and it’s matched with a roll of his eyes as they breach a topic they’ve had to discuss time and time again.

“Idiot. The only ‘dragons’ there now are statues, there haven’t been real dragons for ages! How many times do I have to tell you this??”

* * *

Boa is a nice girl. She’s of noble standing, the daughter of a lord of one of Starsummit’s more powerful lesser houses, and is pretty and kind and intelligent, and if they’d met under different circumstances then Yunho imagines he could be fond of her – not romantically, but they could at least have some sort of friendship. She could travel to the Vale once a year and he could travel to Deeplight some months later; they would visit for a few days and then go their separate ways. It would have been a nice friendship. A very distant, very _impersonal_ friendship.

But Yunho is eighteen now, and he’s well aware of the only reason his father would care to introduce him to a lady of such standing. When the betrothal announcement is made it’s entirely without his consent. He isn’t consulted on his thoughts in the slightest, and while Yunho knows he doesn’t particularly have a choice in the matter and that he has responsibilities as a prince because he’ll be the king one day, after all, this –

This isn’t _right_. And it makes him feel panicky and sick to his stomach the more he thinks about it, because the more he goes over things in his mind the more he thinks he doesn’t like the way she looks at him. There’s something about her eyes that feel cold and unkind; they aren’t warm and golden brown or anything at all like –

“Are you alright?” Changmin asks him as the older paces back and forth outside the entrance to the Great Hall, the younger leaned against a column as he lets the cold winter air serve to clear the unexplainable heaviness in his own chest. Absently, he wonders if perhaps he’s beginning to take ill even though he felt fine this morning. Maybe it’s a plague. Maybe he’ll die.

Yunho finally comes to a stop, nodding despite the tight fists his hands are clenched into.

“I am,” he insists, “I’m just.”

“I know,” Changmin tells him, his voice lower now, just in case. “I know.”

“I know I have to,” Yunho admits, “I just –”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to.” He steps close, trying to determine when exactly Changmin grew taller than him while Changmin simultaneously tries to figure out when they became able to read one another as they can now. “Not with her, Chami.”

Yunho’s eyes have taken on a wildly desperate edge, because he’s asking for something without words, and the sight of it twists in Changmin’s stomach and chest to the point that he has to push the older away simply so he can breathe.

“Then you won’t have to.”

***

Deeplight ceases to exist after a week of hard-fought battle. Houses are razed to the ground and the streets are littered with the corpses of its townsfolk and soldiers of the Vale alike. Merchants will never again sell their wares at open market here and children will no longer play in these streets. The buildings are shells, the last remnant of having ever been occupied. In truth, the fighting was less of a fight and more a massacre, having been heavily one-sided as Deeplight had never been known for its military power. It is silent now, save for the crackling of fire that has yet to burn out, and Changmin still has blood on his face when the king calls the squire to attend him after the final battle. His hair is matted, and his face is steeled against the pain of a deep cut along his side, not wanting to show even an ounce of fragility while he’s addressed by Yunho’s father.

“You’ve proven your worth,” Yanghyun tells him, a heavy, approving hand coming down against the squire’s shoulder. “You’ve served Kangta well since your arrival and have done wonders to protect my son besides. We are lucky you intercepted the message you did, otherwise we may never have known Deeplight intended to use the marriage match between our houses for ill against us.”

Behind Yanghyun, Changmin catches Yunho’s eyes – thankful and appreciative and _relieved_ – and in that moment, the lie is worth it. The blood on his face and hands, both literal and proverbial, is worth it. The sounds of her screams, her begging, and the sight of the light leaving her eyes because of him is worth it, all of it, all of it is worth it.

As long as it’s for Yunho, everything is worth it.

* * *

It’s customary for impending knights to be sent further north, up into the Bitter Cold, for their last year of training before knighthood. It’s a test of endurance and survival – only the hardiest of folk are able to survive so far north, and Changmin will have to persevere alongside them in order to survive the elements and natural dangers until the following spring. He is twenty now and he’ll be leaving soon; his old clothes will be left behind in favor of new thicker, heavier garments. He can’t imagine being any colder than he is during winters in the Vale, but he knows he’s about to get a taste of ice yet unknown to him.

Even so, his thoughts aren’t on his upcoming hardship. His thoughts lie with Yunho and who will look after him while Changmin is away, who would look after him if something were to happen to Changmin while he’s gone, or what Changmin would do if he returned a year from now and found something grievous had befallen his… prince.

His prince.

That’s all.

There are others to watch after Yunho, of course. He isn’t even technically a member of the Prince’s Guard yet, and when he is, he won’t be the only one. There will always be others, he reminds himself.

Yunho accompanies the small entourage into the city at the foot of the mountains. There is no road from Solitude Vale, and so they ride for two days before reaching Clearcross. The party is expected, and they’re welcomed with feasting and music that lasts far into the night once the townsfolk realize the prince is among them. Some, once inebriated enough, choose not to hide their wishes that Yanghyun would be killed off already – both townsfolk and those brought along to see Changmin off.

“You’re kinder,” they tell Yunho. “You’ll be a good, just king,” and he thanks them uncomfortably (despite his flaws, Yanghyun _is_ still his father) before peeling off from the group in the main room of the tavern in which they’re staying the night. He doesn’t have to tell Changmin to follow him; his eyes say it clearly enough, just as they always have.

“They aren’t wrong,” Changmin tells him quietly despite their escape from prying ears, watching the older latch the door of his room. “You’ll be a good king.”

Yunho is silent when he comes to the bed, letting his knees bump the side of the mattress before falling forward heavily onto his stomach. Changmin can see the pink spread across the tips of his ears and in splotches along his neck and it makes him smile. Few know, but Yunho’s wine at home is often watered down significantly as he’s unable to stomach alcohol in any quantity, but there had been no such doctoring here. Changmin touches the back of the older’s neck with familiarity, fingers sliding across warm flesh until his palm rests comfortable and curved, his thumb rubbing softly at Yunho’s nape.

“You’re drunk,” he comments, and Yunho makes a gruff sound against the bed in admittance. “You’re _drunk_. What am I to do? What a mess, _your highness_.” His tone is light and teasing, and the grin never leaves his face even as Yunho suddenly sits up, swaying enough on his knees for Changmin to reach out and steady him.

“Be quiet,” Yunho tells him, though there’s no bite in his words, and he’s already fighting a losing battle to not grin himself. Changmin has one hand wrapped around the older’s wrist and the other is on his waist to steady him, trying to read the minute changes in Yunho’s demeanor by points as they happen and failing, for once. The atmosphere shifts with Changmin scrambling to determine when exactly it happened, and Yunho’s smile is vanished. “You’re leaving,” he says softly. He sounds small, and it squeezes at Changmin’s heart. “Who will look after me as you do?”

Changmin pulls him closer nearly as soon as the words have left Yunho’s lips, and for the first time in their lives they find themselves tangled together, arms wound tightly around one another and simply holding, clinging, silent.

“You’ll be a good king,” Changmin mumbles into the older man’s shoulder, thinking on earlier. “You care so much. People love you,” and the statement is unfinished, because they know their places. “People love you, Yunho, so look after yourself while I’m away. Don’t do stupid things.”

***

Changmin spends a year freezing and worrying and pining, wearing a very familiar silver six-pointed star brooch lined with diamonds that has traveled with him once before – the few he does meet look at it knowingly, but no one asks anything here. Gossip and rumors are unheard of in the Bitter Cold; he’s lucky if he speaks five words a week to another human being.

He comes home afterward to his heart, whole and hale and just how he’d left it, and vows to never be apart from him again.

* * *

Over the next three years, the conflict with the Far Wastes steadily grows. They’ve chosen a new ‘king’ on the other side of the mountain range that separates the Wastes from the greater world, and he’s much more bloodthirsty than any of their past chosen. He’s united tribes that had once remained in isolation, or so the rumors say, and thus their numbers grow by the day. The threat is no longer idle: what were once sparse attacks by brigands on towns closer to the mountains have grown worse and worse, and Yanghyun deems it necessary to send forces further south into the Verdant Ways when their reach becomes longer. Yunho is 26 now and not untested on a battlefield, so he’s chosen as their figurehead, to be advised by more seasoned, higher-ranking officials.

Changmin, of course, accompanies – or rather, the whole of the Prince’s Guard accompanies, but it’s no secret that said prince really only has need of the one (they’re rumors, only whispered when far out of earshot of the two they concern, and Yunho and Changmin remain oblivious to their existence). Yunho is oddly excited for the journey, and when the younger offers a questioning look in his direction while riding, it seems to take everything he has to remain contained in front of his men.

“I’ve never been so far south,” he answers quickly, beaming at the notion of being away from the sweeping cold of Starsummit. “What is it like? You’ve seen the Verdant Ways. Is it very warm? What are the people like?”

Yunho excitedly rattles off his questions and Changmin has to turn away to hide the amusement that threatens to spill into full view any moment, schooling his face into a look of flat apathy before returning his gaze to the older man. “It’s nowhere near as exciting as all of that,” he answers with a wave of one hand in Yunho’s direction, and as he watches the other deflate just a little, he smiles a bit. “But it is nice. Everything is very green, and I think you’ll find it warm, yes.”

***

Days later, under cover of darkness and stars and soundly insulated by the rain that falls outside his tent, Yunho asks Changmin a new and unexpected question.

“You have seen much more conflict than I,” he says to the younger man, sitting on the floor tending both sets of leather armor and weaponry. Changmin nods and makes a sound of confirmation but doesn’t look up from his work. “When you were fighting… were you ever afraid? Are you now?”

At this, Changmin’s hands still as he looks up to his prince. Even if Yunho hadn’t asked him those questions, the look in his eyes would be immediately obvious to Changmin. Yunho has seen battle but they were only ever brief forays, never full-scale warfare as when the Vale attacked Deeplight or the conflicts along the mountain range to the east – the people they journeyed now to fight. Changmin wonders if this isn’t how he’d looked himself when fate stepped in and they’d sparred together the first time.

(Yunho still feels the guilt of Changmin’s lack of dinner for days afterward, and Changmin still feels the guilt of marring his face; he is reminded of it every time he looks upon the older’s scar, though by now it’s familiar and suits him.)

Before Changmin can answer, Yunho laughs, his eyes disappearing and then revealing themselves to be just as bright as ever. There is no trace of anything that existed only a moment ago, and he sits on the floor by his friend.

“Ah well. This is the way of things for us, isn’t it?” He nudges the younger’s shoulder with a smile. “Besides, I will be with you, and I think you’ve never known fear.”

The words warm him, but in this moment Changmin can’t decide if he’s the bravest man to have ever lived or the biggest coward the world has ever seen. Whichever it is, it doesn’t matter – it’s his bravery or his cowardice that keeps Yunho safe in the end, because he fears the loss of him, and he’s brave enough to do whatever it takes to prevent it.

* * *

The army stops at Pineview just beyond the boundary of the Verdant Ways. There they can sleep in warm beds rather than on the hard ground in tents (not that Yunho or Changmin have slept on the ground even a single night in their three-week journey) and enjoy the luxuries of civilized life and decent food and drink once again. Yunho releases the men to do as they will for the evening with the command to return at daybreak so they can continue on their way; this leads the prince and one lone guard to explore the town as they see fit.

Yunho’s choice of activity is… less than pleasing to Changmin, who protests as much as he can without breaking the older man’s spirit.

“Surely you don’t believe in these things,” he admonishes the older man as he’s pulled before the traveling cart of an old woman claiming to see _potential futures_, whatever that means. Changmin had seen the way Yunho lit up the moment he heard the woman say something about fate and things that may come to pass – to deny him too vehemently would crush him, but Changmin simply had no faith in such things. Changmin had seen ones that truly possessed the gift of sight long ago, priests and priestesses of Qaygaenei in Coalfell, and not one would have been trying to turn a profit in such a fashion. “They aren’t even real fortunes, Yunho. They’re _potential_ futures. She could say anything! People like this exist only to swindle people like you out of coins.”

“But what if she’s right? It’s only for fun, besides,” Yunho insists, digging in a small pouch for the amount to be paid. “Don’t be so negative, Changmin. He means no disrespect, my lady.” He turns his attention to her and away from Changmin, and the younger frowns deeply at his being brushed off, crossing his arms over his chest and turning away from the two himself. “He’s just –”

“Skeptical,” Changmin provides, poison on his tongue as he spits out the word. “And rightfully so.”

“There is no need for apologies, your grace,” the woman says to Yunho with a kind smile as she accepts his silver pieces, then glances in Changmin’s direction to offer a nod of acceptance. “It is natural to be skeptical of that which we don’t understand. I bear no grudge.” She gets up from her seat then, walking toward the curtain blocking the inside of her cart from full view, then looks back to Yunho. “If you’ll come inside with me –”

“He will not.” Changmin denies the opportunity before Yunho has the chance to agree, grabbing the prince tightly by the wrist and pulling him closer to his side just as the older moves to follow her into her wagon. Yunho frowns deeply at this, pulling his arm away from Changmin with only a little effort and following it with a soft glare.

“Why are you acting this way?” he whispers harshly, and all Changmin wants to do in this moment is give the older man a shake purely to see if his dislodged common sense will somehow rattle back into place.

“Because I don’t trust her! We don’t know anything about her other than the fact that she’s selling _potential futures_ out of the back of a broken-down wagon and you want me to allow you to _get into the wagon_? What if she’s a –”

“Changmin!” The tone is sharp and curt and entirely new in Changmin’s ears, and the younger man practically withers at its use, begrudgingly stepping to the side so as not to impede Yunho on his way into the woman’s cart. Once he’s inside, she again smiles kindly at Changmin.

“You need not worry,” she reassures him, though it does little to alleviate the anxiety of the other’s absence. “It will be but a few minutes at the most. I will see yours after, if you’d like –” she puts a hand up as Changmin opens his mouth to protest. “No charge. I simply want to share with you.”

In the end, he agrees. Nothing happens, just as Yunho insisted it wouldn’t, and when the older’s time inside is finished, he seems happier and more hopeful than he had prior to going in. Changmin, on the other hand, is quieter and even more solemn than usual as they finish their day with a meal before retiring to the older’s rented room.

“I am sorry, Chami. About earlier, I mean,” Yunho pieces together, thinking perhaps the younger man’s uncharacteristic level of silence is because of the way he’d been spoken to earlier. “I just wanted –”

“I know,” Changmin answers, his voice soft when it finally does come. “I only worry for you. It is my duty –”

“I know,” Yunho assures him, kneeling on the bed behind the younger man and wrapping long arms around his shoulders, his chin pressed into hard flesh as he laughs softly. “You don’t have to worry so much for me. I’m not a child.”

“I never said you were,” Changmin answers with a frown.

“—And you act much older than your age. It’s quite alright to allow yourself to have fun every so often.” Yunho releases Changmin then, moving to lie on his back. His fingers play with a stray string on the hem of Changmin’s tunic, closing his eyes and settling comfortably into the pillow.

“Did you have fun there?” the younger ventures, thinking of his own potential prediction. For a moment, he wonders if theirs matched and if so, what that meant – but fortune telling of this sort was for gullible fools and Yunho, who was maybe a bit of a gullible fool as well, but not Changmin. He knew it was made of nothing but lies.

“I did, yes. I don’t know that what she told me will come to pass, but I like thinking upon it.” True enough, as the older speaks his lips spread in a smile, and Changmin knows now that the potential futures they had received were wildly different. All he hears are her words, over and over again – it’s been the only thing he could think of since leaving, and he wishes he’d never come to that place. “What about you?” Yunho asks him, and Changmin looks away. The ‘gift’ he’d been given was nothing short of a nightmare and so it simply could not be, but if Yunho’s was something that made him happy, then… whether or not it was truly a portent, it was something to be chased.

“I won’t allow mine to come to pass,” he says with determination, “but if yours brings you happiness, we will find it and make it come true.” When Changmin looks back at Yunho they’re both smiling, and Changmin wishes that if nothing else, this moment could be frozen in time. The thing that makes him happiest, after all, is making Yunho happy.

Nothing else has ever mattered so much.

* * *

“What will you do when the war is over?”

They reach Ironspan a month after departing Solitude Vale. It’s their last stop before reaching the mountains, and Changmin notes the vegetation and tree cover of this area doesn’t match with the rest of the Verdant Ways – the air is cooler here as well, but that makes sense. Here, they rendezvous with a different company of Yanghyun’s men, and the collective army sets up camp outside the fortress. There is familiarity and camaraderie between them; these are men who have been in the service of Yunho’s father for many long years, and Changmin’s former attended lord is amongst them.

“I don’t know,” Changmin answers, drinking deeply from his mug of ale as he thinks. “Return home, I suppose. I have nowhere I wish to go. What about you?”

Yunho is sat beside him, cramped almost uncomfortably close and yet somehow not close enough, and Changmin feels rather than sees the older man shrug his shoulders. Thankfully, the prince has had only water to drink this evening; Changmin serves him, and the understanding between them is that they’ll pretend. Weakness to alcohol is sign of a weak constitution to these men, after all, and Changmin would die before revealing the older man’s secrets.

“I wish to see the sea, unfrozen,” Yunho admits, his words soft and mostly between them rather than to the group at large, and Changmin, for once, doesn’t point out the fact that Yunho still cannot swim There are four of his father’s company there with them, drinking and talking of fantastical subjects like ‘life after the war’ that seem like they will never happen, and it’s nothing if not warm and comfortable. It’s a reminder of home even far afield, especially once Kangta joins the circle at Changmin’s other side.

“Let me look at you, Changmin,” he says with a smile, and Changmin obeys without thought, turning his head away from Yunho to look at his former liege. “You’ve grown so much. You were half my height when first we met and if I’d dare to guess, I’d say you’re taller than me now.”

“I’m taller than nearly everyone now,” Changmin concedes with a grin as his hair is ruffled by the older man, allowing the gesture if only out of respect for the man who had taught him so much. It pleases Yunho immensely to see someone treating Changmin this way and he doesn’t bother to hide that on his face, following Kangta’s hair ruffling with some of his own.

“Look at the baby,” Yunho teases with a grin, and Changmin laughs shortly before pushing the older man’s hand away while making no attempt to cover the physicality of the movement. The brazen behavior catches a couple of the men off-guard, but they soon exchange knowing glances, settling back into their previous calm demeanors as they watch the prince and his guard interact with one another.

“Yah! Not from you!” Changmin protests, and Yunho laughs heartily, seemingly in their own world for a moment before Kangta clears his throat. The youngest two still, matched gazes quickly going to the older man as he begins speaking of more serious matters: plans of movement, scouts’ reports, and the rest of the circle remains silent as the dead save the occasional loud pop of the fire in the center. Changmin drinks the rest of his ale, stealing glances at Yunho in hopes of catching reactions.

_Are you okay_, he wants to ask. _Do you understand? Do you need me to help you? Do you want –_

“We have an early morning,” Kangta finally says, placing his hands on his knees as he moves to stand. “It would be best if we rested, though I’m sure the younger ones can do on much fewer hours than we,” he teases Yunho and Changmin, and a few of the other men laugh in agreeance – the younger two do as well.

“We can pack up and leave now if you would care to test the theory, old man,” Changmin fires back, and Kangta’s laugh is loud and hearty as everyone finally moves to standing. Changmin truly is a bit taller, just as they’d both expected.

“You make foolish decisions. Rest is important. The two of you should get plenty of it,” he insists with a smile, and Changmin nods in acceptance of his former mentor’s advice.

“Your grace,” someone calls from beside them. Yunho turns to respond, expecting that someone has forgotten something they wanted to say to him, but he stumbles as his wrist is grabbed and he’s yanked forward without time to react; Changmin hears the older man lose his footing and turns immediately to catch him only to see him fall away from him rather than toward.

There’s a sharp, pained gasp and the very smallest whisper of _Chami_ that he’s ever heard in his life filling Changmin’s ears as he watches, held back by the man who had practically raised him (and he doesn’t know when he was grabbed, only that he can’t _move_), as Yunho reaches for his stomach only briefly – and the older hits first his knees, then his side.

“YUNHO!”

Changmin doesn’t know if he’s screaming or crying or both but he chokes on it as he struggles to get away with more ferocity than he’s ever mustered in his life, and the only words he remembers are Yunho’s name and a constant repetition of “no no no no” that does nothing at all. The only thing that will help is to get away but he _can’t_ until he _does_ and if he can just get there, if he can just stop the bleeding that he knows is happening because _he saw the blade being pulled away_ (but all he’s thinking of is Yunho, Yunho, Yunho is on the ground, Yunho is bleeding out, Yunho isn’t moving or responding to his calls) then maybe –

But then there’s a sharp pain in his lower back that causes him to freeze in his tracks only a few steps away from where he’d once been rooted, held in place again by a hand at his throat (Yunho hasn’t moved in so long and why did Changmin leave his weapons in their tent, why did he trust these people to begin with, he should’ve never trusted _anyone_ –) as Kangta leans closer to his ear to speak only to his former squire.

“It is a shame about Deeplight, isn’t it, Changmin?” the older man asks him, and the question immediately pulls a deep, guttural sob from the younger man. _That is why this is happening, isn’t it?_ It’s all he can think of, and when he speaks his words are practically blubbered as a child would do.

“He didn’t – “

“But so many things are a shame in this life, aren’t they? You’ve both shamed yourselves and your houses. Your secrets aren’t secrets. Deeplight and this… familiarity between the two of you, did you think you would never be found out?”

“But we – “

“The greatest shame of it all,” Kangta continues even as Changmin begins to lose strength in his legs, his body trying to slump to the ground in submission, “is that his father’s kingdom dies here because of your indiscretions. By whose word do you think this happens?”

Changmin’s mind struggles to piece together everything, but all of it is scattered, and he lolls his head in a poor semblance of unknowing before Kangta shoves his slack body to the ground. Immediately he musters all his remaining strength to drag himself toward Yunho.

“Go. Be with him now, if he even yet lives. You’ll both be gone soon enough.”

He doesn’t know if they’re alone. He doesn’t know how much longer he has, because the tears have calmed somewhat but his vision remains off, and he doesn’t know if Yunho is still alive at this point – it’s been so long since he’s moved – but in this moment, none of it matters.

“Yunho,” Changmin whispers, his voice rough and not his own. “Idiot, get up,” he encourages, finally within arm’s reach of the older man, and so he presses his hand to the other’s back and gives him the most forceful shove he can muster.

In return he receives only a disgusting squelching sound that makes him feel nauseous, and he won’t accept what it means.

“Yunho,” he tries again, his voice beginning to tremble once more as he fists his hand in the fabric of the older’s tunic, “Yunho, I’m so sorry.” The words are desperate and begging, shaking the other man’s body once more though Changmin’s strength fades more and more by the second, and when he tries a third time, he finds he simply can’t any longer. Instead, he lets his hand fall from Yunho’s back, sliding painstakingly along the ground to the outstretched arm above the other’s head. He doesn’t have the energy to fully hold his prince’s hand now, but he manages to wrap two of his fingers around the ones closest to him.

He’s so tired, and he’s seen enough injuries like this to know that there will be no recovery.

“But I never…”

He never would.

* * *

In his last moments, Yunho does not think of brutality or betrayal. He doesn’t see the faces of the men his father sent to slaughter he and Changmin like pigs. What he thinks of is the vision of the future he had clung so desperately onto since seeing the fortune teller in Pineview, because the fantasy is less painful than the reality.

Yunho has never seen an ocean unfrozen. His whole life he’s desired to feel warm sand beneath his bare feet and salty ocean water lapping at his toes, but life has always had other plans, and they’ve all been as cold as the halls of Solitude Vale. In this dream, however, there is nothing but warmth. He is there by the sea, and so is Changmin, his skin sun-kissed and perfect, and they are alone. The war is over, or maybe here there was never any war – he doesn’t know, but he would gladly accept either alternative.

Changmin holds his hands like treasures, kisses his face and touches his cheeks like he is something precious, and his thumb traces the line of Yunho’s scar before he places another softer kiss there. It is a silent apology that Yunho has long since accepted; he accepted the very first one when he was thirteen and still had blood on his face.

“Come away with me,” Changmin says to him suddenly, his tone filled with familiar determination, and Yunho looks up in surprise at the younger man. “These aren’t our battles. Let your father fight them for the rest of his life if he so desires but choose a different life for yourself.” For a moment, he pauses, but then reaches between them to lace their fingers together. “I would do anything for you, Yunho. We can be happy, away from that life – “

And Yunho had wanted that future so desperately, but Changmin had been right to doubt. These were fantasies.

And yet, he thinks: _Gods, please, please… if we’re to be reborn…_

***

Changmin had no grand visions in the fortune teller’s tent. What she had to offer him was not images, but words. He’d pushed them out of his mind the very same evening, once they were safely back in their room – but he hears them echoing in his mind as he lay dying, clear as the day he’d received them:

“Your enemies are all around you, son of Firebend,” she’d told him, “but you see them not.

In the end, all your bravery and strength will not avail you. You will not be able to save him, nor yourself.”

She’d been right, and the tastes of regret and failure, bitter and cold, mingle on Changmin’s tongue as he draws his last shuddering breath.

_… if we’re to be reborn, let me find him again._


	2. Epilogue

“Eunmi-mimimi~” Changmin singsongs as he scoops his daughter up when she tries to make a quick escape, squealing and giggling in delight as he sits on the small bench near the door of their apartment. He holds the squirming girl as tightly as he can while wiggling her small feet into brand new shoes. “You’re so energetic today,” he comments with a laugh, tickling her sides once he’s managed to get both her shoes on before she bolts from his grasp back into the kitchen.

“Mimi-yah! Come on! We have to leave now or you’re going to be late,” he insists, and the little girl comes bouncing along quickly enough, picking up a small green backpack as she waits for her father to open the door.

They’ve only recently moved into the area – Changmin took a job he was offered in the kitchen of a more upscale restaurant than where he’d worked previously, and he’d been lucky enough to squeeze Eunmi into what seemed to be a nice kindergarten that emphasized outdoor playtime and learning about nature. Today is her first day, and he’s quietly thankful that he won’t have to have a babysitter for his daughter all the time anymore. Now, there will only be a few hours between her being dropped off via bus at his sister’s place and him getting off work to go pick her up, and he starts late enough in the mornings that he can bring her to school himself.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Once he’s parked the car and she’s promptly made her escape (a tiny Houdini if there ever was one), she calls to him from the sidewalk, bouncing her way up until she reaches a group of adults standing near the front entrance. They all immediately begin to coo at her, and Changmin watches from a short distance away as a tall man lifts her from the ground into his arms. He can hear her shrill cackle even from the distance, and he shakes his head with a slight laugh to himself.

“This must be your daddy,” the man holding Eunmi says, and she squirms full-bodied as she nods. In lieu of bowing because of child-holding, he holds his hand out for the other to take. “My name is Jung Yunho, I’m going to be Eunmi-yah’s teacher this year!” he says brightly as Changmin reaches to shake his hand. He notices everything, one point after another: the bubbly personality, the blinding smile, the small scar on the other man’s left cheek, and it takes him far too long to realize he’s staring – something he hastily tries to recover from.

“Shim Changmin,” he quickly introduces himself, fumbling for words as he releases the other man’s hand and tries to figure out what he’s meant to do with his own. Eunmi finds this hilarious somehow and begins giggling, and she isn’t the only one – the sound of other giggles coming from behind him make his ears pink almost immediately.

“Well, Changmin-ssi, I’m sure we’ll all have a good year together, hm? Please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me if you need anything or want to discuss Eunmi-yah’s progress!”

“I – I won’t, thank you. I’m so sorry, I’m just – running behind and – I’ll see you tomorrow morning, please take good care of her, Yunho-seonsaengnim.”

Changmin has escaped the scene entirely before his daughter’s teacher can even properly react, sealing himself away in the car and making a brief scene of turning the music as loud as it will go so he can scream without anyone knowing he’s screaming, then promptly back off again. “This is going to be the longest fucking year of my life,” he complains into the emptiness, letting his head bang against the steering wheel twice before finally motivating himself to pull out of the parking lot.


	3. Map Notes & Visual References

This truly was meant to be something quick and simple and short… but quick and simple and short don’t really work for me, especially when my nerd brain gets the best of me. I’ve drawn inspiration from three main sources (Guild Wars 2, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings) in order to write this and some of the bits may be fairly obvious where they were pulled from, but I did try to make sure I wasn’t heavy on any one source!

I’ve written up a quick little guide just to clarify how I’ve been imagining the map and to make certain parts make sense, but if you’d rather imagine things your own way that’s fine too!

**Starsummit** is the northernmost territory in this world; it is predictably very icy/snowy, though its lower regions are a bit greener and more rainy than snowy. **Solitude Vale** is the capital city from which the Jung family rules – it sits in a valley high upon a mountain, which give it excellent natural defenses from attacks. There are various buildings, or lodges, carved into and out of the sides of the valley; the largest of these is known as the Great Hall, and it’s where Yunho’s family lives/where royal events are held/etc. It is a two-day ride to reach the smaller town of **Clearcross** at the foot of the mountain. **Saltshear** is a coastal port city further south; beyond that the temperature dips far enough to make sailing dangerous at best and impossible at worst. **The Bitter Cold** is the territory beyond the Vale, and only the hardiest individuals dare to live there because of the elements and natural dangers. A year before they’re knighted, squires are sent into the Bitter Cold as a test of endurance and survival. **Deeplight** is a smaller city further east. ([visual 01](https://i.imgur.com/WwTz6JV.jpg))

**The Verdant Ways** are essentially the “middle” territory. It is lush and green, having both dense forests and rolling grasslands, and most farmed food of this world comes from the Verdant Ways. The population is spread wide, though there are a few major cities/points of interest to speak of: **Summerwood** is the capital of the Ways and is quite literally a city of treehouses, from which the Kim family rules. **Pineview** is a small lodging town just beyond the border of Starsummit. **Ironspan** is a fortress near the eastern mountain range that has been abandoned since time immemorable, almost entirely reclaimed by natural vegetation at this point. ([visual 01](https://i.imgur.com/kdRDZvT.jpg))

**Coalfell** is the southernmost territory, and its terrain is varied – there are smaller forested areas, but for the most part you’ll be looking at either a desert scape or very rough, craggy, broken areas. Coalfell is famous for being the point of origin for dragons (though they’ve long since gone extinct in this world), and their religious system centers around a pantheon of seven “great dragons” that can be seen as basically everywhere you turn; this is mimicked by their ruling body, which consists of a council of seven heads of noble houses. It is extremely hot and arid year-round. Coalfell is Starsummit’s biggest ally, and a significant portion of Starsummit’s warriors actually originate from the south. The capital city is **Southsun Cove**; it is a coastal port town that houses Thunderhead Keep, the seat of the council. Changmin is from a smaller town called **Firebend** that is further inland. ([visual 01](https://i.imgur.com/wlg9cUT.jpg) & [visual 02](https://i.imgur.com/WuApyeT.jpg))

To the east of all three territories, there is a mountain range, and beyond that range lies **The Far Wastes**. It is an empty, desolate land sparsely populated by various tribes who once called Starsummit home, but were driven over the mountains by Yunho’s ancestors hundreds of years ago. Every so often these tribes will choose a new ‘king’ and unite under him, and full-scale conflicts will arise anew; in the lull between, they will sometimes band together and use mountain passes to attack the towns on the other side of the range for want of food or supplies. ([visual 01](https://i.imgur.com/XKsvweM.png))


End file.
